4 Steps to Let Go of Fear and Judgment by Practicing Acceptance

Written by Jess Mangum

Jess Mangum is a seasoned mystic, medium, healer, and mentor. She guides and supports other healers and intuitives in identifying and strengthening their gifts, fulfilling their soul’s purpose, and catapulting their Higher Self in connection with the Divine Source to the next level of awareness. She is a healer’s healer.

March 22, 2024

practicing acceptance
4 Steps to Let Go of Fear and Judgment by Practicing Acceptance

Today I’m vulnerable-izing myself (yes, I’m making up a new verb) and sharing a major growth story.  It’s one of inspiration, hope and raw humanity.  In a gist, this narrative is about judgment, fear… and acceptance.   We’ve all had moments when we’re feeling judged, misperceived, even disliked – and it often happens when we break free from the “mold” of society’s heavy thumb.  That’s why not following the herd can be so painful  – and yet so freeing!  This anecdote, now a healed wound (and it’s been spiritually “licked” in countless ways), taught me the value of acceptance and 4 steps to attaining it by letting go of fear and judgment.  This is judgment of not only others, but most importantly ourselves.  

It all began about 10 years ago.  I’d just had a baby, decided to leave my full-time job, and I’d been nudged, pretty intensely mind you, to offer intuitive guidance and explore my gifts as a medium to inspire those struggling with overcoming grief and/or realizing their self-empowerment.  FYI, letting go of the societal norm’s expectation in and of itself took almost a lifetime of self-acceptance.  To prepare for my outside-looking-in random transition, I’d had conversations with my closest friends and family members about my gift and let them know it was time to use it.  I was fragile, vulnerable, skeptical (remember the first day of kindergarten?).

Around that same time frame, my husband was working at his financial planning firm.  In his office, there were his partner and another co-worker who assisted with appointments and client relations.  He’d shared with the office my new venture and what was going on with us and the baby, somewhat nonchalantly.  Small talk. 

About a week later, Chad came home upset because one of Chad’s co-workers had quit her job at his office.  Why? Because she visited my website, and she did not agree with what I was doing.

I went numb for about a minute and once the shock kicked in, I immediately broke down and went through a series of intense and necessary emotions. Anger, betrayal, irritation, retaliation, fear. All negative. It welled up inside me, and my brain-stem-knee-jerk reaction was to call her up and plead my case, while giving her a what for.  Underneath all of the uncomfortable, I was hurt. After some violent upheavals and cleansing tears, I realized, puffy-faced and blubbering, that I had a gorgeous opportunity to learn if I opened myself to it. 

I realized then that it is the most painful of experiences, the deeper dives into our own fears and shadows, that bring our power back to light.

How did I come to this conclusion?  I’d mellowed out a bit.  I worked with time and prioritized the healing. I journaled, processed, listened to my heart and the guidance from above in stillness.  The stillness is KEY. I was able step outside of myself and my ego (wounded ego = fear). I understood through my self questioning: What was I really upset about under all that fear?  What was the part I played in this whole scenario? 

This last inner reflection, accountability, was and is SO hard to do, but once I deeply understood my own wounds surrounding being accepted, I inherently recognized that I needed to accept my whole self first.

The journaling was fascinating, definitely telling.  It started with my thoughts: She didn’t like me. She didn’t understand the nature of what I was doing. She thought I was weird. But in essence, I didn’t really know the nature of why she left. Maybe it had nothing to do with me!  Often when we feel hurt, we want to retaliate immediately (I call it the tsunami). But does that really help anything? And do we really have the full picture? Process first.  Then consider whether a verbal conversation is necessary.

My final step, acceptance and the release: I energetically thanked this co-worker for opening my eyes and my heart. I thanked her for being my greatest teacher at that time.  Ugh.  Because I felt uncomfortable, I was able to release all the other B.S. and lazer-sharp pinpoint from where that pain was coming. 


4 Steps to let go of fear and judgment by practicing acceptance:

Step 1: First be still and reflect; look at the origin of our fear.  Instead of investing in it, research why it is there. Where does it come from and what is its origin (get to the root)? 

Step 2: Process it.  Is it justified fear (is fear ever really justified)?  How does this fear keep us from stepping into our power?  If we are a collective, how does judging help in bringing peace to the collective and to yourself?  Consider how this fear brings joy to your life?  Do you feel happy in a fearful space? 

Step 3: Be accountable.  What is the part you play?  Own it.  Forgive yourself first and then decide if it’s worth a physical conversation.

Step 4: Finally, start practicing acceptance and letting go. Accept and love YOU first. Helpful tools: What do you love about yourself?  What brings you joy?  What are you grateful for?  Also, I repeat the serenity prayer daily, if not multiple times throughout the day.  All we can control is our own thoughts.  We must start there.  Open up your heart, grace and compassion to all who surround you – they’re here to teach you the very origin of your soul and spirit and strength.  

And just a bonus tip: Look for angel numbers.  For the last 4 days I’ve been walking into my kitchen and the oven clock reads: 4:44.  The number four is the square, the foundation – it’s about consistency of practice and prioritizing our inner peace.  If we don’t have that, we are spinning plates.  Time to pause and stop the spinning, my friend.

With all the love in the world,


Metamorphosis or Evolutionary Spiritual and Intuitive Development Mentorships:

Spots for my mentorships moving into 2024 are currently booking up fast.  If you’re looking to more deeply understand your connection with Source, your soul’s song and purpose, and clarify/incorporate your intuitive gifts, these are for you.  There are 4 openings remaining for a 4 or 6-month integration.  If you’re unfamiliar with the mentorships themselves, take a look by clicking on the programs below:

For other healing tools and tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel for resources on energy and the chakras, singing bowl meditations for clarity and calm and so much more! 

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