This post, friends, is all about change - and how we have this tendency to look outside of ourselves to find comfort when it's happening. We often feel "change" in our bodies through the emotions that surface, AKA the emotional triggers. We all know this on a conceptual level. But we may not consider that the emotion is just an indicator of the bigger, more expanded you stepping out of your zone of awareness into your potential.  

So before we begin, ask yourself: Do you have any emotional triggers leading to unhealthy or unbalanced living? Maybe chocolate, wine, unhealthy eating in general, unhealthy relationships, etc. In other words, are you human? Seems like a silly question, but if you've more recently noticed these "distractions" coming to the surface, then you're in line with the collective. With all of the relative divisiveness, it's now the time for us to clear them so we can make way for the positive change that is coming.

Doing what I do for a living as a teacher, counselor, mentor and growing up with the 12 Steps of AA which focus on addiction (or utilizing "resources" outside ourselves to numb or avoid), I have learned a few keys or tools to completeness. These tools assist in filling in the internal gaps so there's nothing left to fill. One of these I observe is that we don't need to "control" our urges, but more get to the bottom of why they are there in the first place and clear them from the root of the issue up! Here are the keys to which I was referring to help you pull the weeds and move solidly forward.

1. Identify your emotional triggers 

As previously mentioned, the first step is to identify the triggers. Reflect on where you go when you're feeling out-of-sorts. Could be anger, seclusion, exclusion, alcohol, etc. It is whatever separates you from yourself and brings the focus outward. Usually it's a trigger if we can't have just one, or if it's a regularly repeated pattern. Moderation is key. It's when we begin to rely on or need things outside ourselves that we need to ask, "Are they really 'helping?'"

2. Take a step back and reflect

Once you've figured that out, take a step back and reflect. For instance, before I eat an overabundance of sweets, because food is my go-to, I consider how I'm feeling. Is it a negative emotion (anger, impatience, frustration, irritation, etc.)? Seems silly, but those 2 seconds of reflection are vital for mind and body, more vital than we know.

If it is, in fact, negative, we have to stop and take a deep, cleansing breath, or five. Then we need to assure ourselves that whatever we are feeling is totally ok and completely normal. We shake hands with the emotion - we may cry, we may punch a pillow. But we acknowledge that it's there; we give it a voice.

Society or maybe our upbringing would have us believe that we are not supposed to feel, so we suppress. But, think about how this suppression of emotions affects us. It depletes us of energy. It leads to aches, pains, weight gain or loss, anxiety, and depression. Maybe it's easier said than done, but identifying how we are feeling is the key - identifying and then acknowledging it.

3. Release 

Then and finally, release it. If angry, figure out what about. Sometimes the answer is simple, more on the surface. If it's a deeper pattern, the two most useful tools in my opinion are journaling and regression work - both go back to the very origin of the emotion.

The question, "What is my first memory of this feeling?" is a great journal prompt. And with journaling, just write. It doesn't have to be an essay. If still frustrated, go outside and walk or run, do yoga, or listen to music. I exercise about every other day, breathing in "clarity" and breathing out "what does not serve my higher self." Deliberately shake hands with the emotion and then let it go in the healthiest way you know how.

Once you start this ritual around your emotional triggers, it makes life, communication, love - everything, really - lighter. Take it from me. Lord knows I had to learn the hard way, and yet I guess that's exactly why I teach it now: because I know it by HEART.

And, side note but of equal importance, do not beat yourself up if you're not quite ready to fully release the outside forces that soothe the triggers. When you are ready, you will know. And you'll also know exactly what to do.  

Sending love and hugs my dears,
Jess

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