Truth: Some days I spend the day completely glazed over, like an overly sugared & deep-fried doughnut, blankly looking at the world wondering, “What the hell am I doing here anyway?” This was my yesterday, in fact. Not a fan of that “feeling” or “sensation,” as it’s not a categorically happy one, but we all feel this way at some point and time – especially now with the energetic fluctuations and shifts. And often, it’s like I know something’s off (me), but I don’t know what “it” is. The trick is not to ignore it or eat potato chips and ice cream (or whatever other outside source coats the truth within) in avoidance of the “void,” but to face it head-on.
What I’ve learned:
When this feeling arises, the most important initial step is to remove myself and start processing. And that typically means I need to communicate, lovingly, that everyone kindly leaves me alone so I don’t blow a gasket. The hubby’s gotten so good at detecting these “growth spurts” and preventing the “volcano” in me by saying, “Honey, you look overwhelmed. Why don’t you go journal (followed by an unspoken “please”)?
I STOP. I begin by observing these “void” tendencies, like an outsider looking in, and then journaling about them. It’s my way of reflecting and processing, pouring my insides out, and such an important step in our personal evolution. I describe my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual sense of self. Looks something like this:
Physically: Drained, achy (head and shoulders, sometimes belly)
Emotionally: Short with others, sad, angry, emotions amok
Mentally: Thoughts are super duper negative and surprisingly dark
Spiritually: It’s like a clogged drain – I get nothin.
I write. I process. I cry. I breathe.
Then, I take a bath. A friend reminded me of how she uses epsom salts, rose petals, frankincense, and sea salt to clear and open up. In the water, I open up the purifying and super cleansing (beneath the physical) energies asking to clear whatever obstacles are keeping me from seeing myself as I truly am. I feel the love and embrace it. I ask to let go of a few things and bring in a few things. Yesterday I asked to let go of the fear of the unknown and bring in abundance and clarity, for example.
FYI: Rose essential oil has the highest frequency. Rub a drop on your higher heart (thymus) to open up to angelic energies – and the compassion of Mother Mary.
When I’m done soaking and relishing, I might shave my legs (a feat in and of itself) or use a sugar/salt scrub. I drain all “cobwebs of the past and fears of the future” down into the earth and thank her for holding space for me to be me. I imagine that energy transmuting into something the plants and then animals can use – like an energetic fertilizer.
What I notice is that after such clearing, I experience subconscious processing galore in the dream state and write those down to interpret. The dreams help us see what lies beneath.
Interpreting dreams is another step in the growth process – a vital one – allowing us to dig deeper into our perceived shadows and make friends with our fears. Maybe you’ve been having significant dreams lately? More info on that to come.
I hope this email finds you well – and that you are able to lavish in a ritual bath sooner than later! I’ll be back soon with more info on communicating with the subconscious!
Sending SO much love,