Over the past few months, I have observed a dynamic, both within myself and among others, that I hope one day will be the change we need in this world. It involves letting go of grievances toward others who have harmed us. Forgiveness and letting go of grievances is challenging because we've been hurt in the past and on some level want justification. Yet, the hurt and desire for retribution is cyclical: It won't stop until we do.

This Trust in the process of letting go is vital to our souls because our frustration, anger and finger pointing magnetizes more of what's irritating us to begin with. Therefore, we need to identify and heal through trusting our Higher Selves and Highest Heart (which connects us ALL) in order to find peace.

So I write this because I hadn't realized on a conscious level how much this ability (or not) to release grievances was affecting me - until one morning I was awakened by a dream reflecting the number '58' and the song "Where the Streets Have No Name." And what is the correlation here, you ask? Well, dreams are indeed fascinating and they indirectly pinpoint what needs inner processing we often can't see. This particular dream was so significant I could not fall back asleep, and I knew I was about to have a revelation. I'll spell this one out in the paragraphs that follow. 

The number "58" was easy to interpret.

First, numbers are like codes I've learned to decode and correlate to life, to the world and my perception. In my dream, I had seen the number "58" on a mailbox and then again as someone's apartment number in gold on their door. The combination of 5 (change/shifts) and 8 (infinity) is all about "change that is eternal."

The song was a different story.

Second, I often wake with a song in my head and have learned to look up the lyrics for deeper meaning. As I was reading the words written by Bono, I was stunned. I started tearing up, legit crying.

It's an aside, but I feel it's important to address that I cry in the presence of "God" or universal messages. Why? Because they remind me of what is authentic and therefore closest to my heart, because no words can describe the inherent beauty and correlation to Truth, and because it's human to feel, and more than ok to be vulnerable.

In the song I'd heard clearly just before waking, Bono sings in the second stanza:

I wanna feel sunlight on my face
I see that dust cloud disappear without a trace
I wanna take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name, oh, oh

Hold that thought... hold on to those words.

The reading tied it all together.

Third nudge, after I woke up from the dream, the reality was I was irritated because of my super important things to do today (laughing out loud at myself). But... you ever stare at the ceiling in the dark trying to will your busy mind back to sleep? That was me. No amount of meditation can make "sleep" happen. It can be humanly frustrating - and it's also when most of my epiphanies occur. As I laid there, dreaming of sleep, I was urged to go read a subsequent lesson in the book "A Course in Miracles" (ACIM) - song running through my head and the number "58" flashing. The urge to investigate comes to me in soft voices, like tugs. I surrendered to the "tug," chuckled, and shuffled my way out the bedroom door to blindly hit the coffee button at 1:30am.

As I opened and diligently read in ACIM, what struck and brought me to my knees so to speak was that the lesson was all about letting go of grievances (against others) because "they hide the light in me." It spoke of clearing the dark cloud around my mind so I could "see." And the dark cloud represented fear, which I have sensed all around me due to not knowing the outcome as a collective.

It was the ubiquitous "dust/dark cloud" that blew my mind.

I put the puzzle together. Brilliant, quite frankly. The number 58 appeared so that I knew that change was eternal, we can't control it. Acceptance is key, in other words, or else we're building up static or dust clouds in our minds, as mentioned in the U2 lyrics and in my ACIM book. Between the lesson I was urged to read, the number and the song, I understood I needed to move past all of this deep sadness watching all the politics at play, people fighting, arguing about what's right and what's wrong - who's evil and who's not. My heart and soul had been screaming. And it was so in my face, my conscious self couldn't see it.

I share this with you because I then heard, "The solution is already here. There is a bigger picture reason for these eternal changes that we cannot perceive from our smaller human lens.

We must trust this and follow our hearts, try to let go of grievances."

And how do we do this, you ask? By recognizing that we have grievances to begin with, and then realizing that there is no "right" or "wrong." It just IS. And it is going to be OK. My dream was sharing the message of hope.

And now breathe in your name, breathe out the fear. And remember:

Oh, when I go there
I go there with you
It's all I (WE) can do.

- Bono

And when you have a moment, have a listen to the song on The Joshua Tree album. It is an eternal anthem of a classic theme.

Much love always,
Jess

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