February month is categorically “love” month, but as I observe friends, family, even strangers, it is clear that not everyone is blissfully in love with their boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse – and that many are single, looking for love. Seems to be a never-ending cycle.
This is, however, a cycle we can all break which is why, regardless of relationship status, I am focusing this newsletter on those of us who are learning that the most important person in the world to love unconditionally is ourSELVES! And once we love ourselves unconditionally, only love can surround us. As life coach and healer Roxana M. Jones says, “Life is your mirror, what you see as your outside always comes from your inside.” Nicely put.
Before I delve into the tools, I want to talk a bit about a “healer’s history.” Most of you reading this newsletter have heightened perception and awareness or strong intuitive gifts. The mere fact that you are reading this tells me so… and I’ve met most of you in person, so I know! You may be a healer, feeler, seer or you may “know” things with no explanation. Those of us with heightened perception tend to be sensitive to our surroundings, intuitively sensing what goes on beneath the surface, but often doubting that we have these gifts.
What’s most important about these aspects of who we are in reference to self love is that, often, those of us who fit into the aforementioned categories have perhaps spent some time trying to “fix” our surroundings as opposed to looking with in. We did this inadvertently/subconsciously because knew that if our environment were calm (and we could definitely) feel when it wasn’t, we could function properly. In other words, in most cases, we acquired our intuitive gifts (the “knowing”) from a young age because we needed them to cope. We could sense intuitively when something was “off” and therefore had to be one step ahead by diffusing the situation before things got worse.
Well, I got news for ya. That strategy worked in the past and now guess what? It doesn’t serve us in our present adult state.
What we healers, feelers and knowers often find? Lots of things. We may tend to:
– Get into unhealthy relationships with men/women who “need our help.”
– Micromanage at work and home.
– Have higher expectations of ourselves and therefore others.
– Look outside ourselves for our sources of comfort (i.e., food, alcohol, relationships, etc.).
I sense too that most of us are already aware of these things, and so there is no need to belabor the subject. But the question is: How do we get out of this rigmarole?
I cannot speak for everyone, but I can share what I have learned through my own life experience. Through years of counseling, meditation and introspection, working with other amazing healers and channeling answers to questions, I have learned a few tools that really do work. And they work faster than any counseling session ever could because they get to the root of the issue and clear it energetically, spiritually, and from Source. Nothing could be more powerful and permanent.
First step: Plan time for YOU only. Sit down and look at your calendar and really set a time, daily if possible, for you to do something relaxing, fun, exciting, or creative.
Second step: Nightly, journal what you love about yourself. Consider, too, your triggers throughout the day as well as your responses to them. Reflect on what you could have done differently. By merely acknowledging this, it will help bring clarity.
Third step: Release people in your life who drain you of energy. There is no need to verbally tell them this, but you might write them a letter without sending it. Thank them for what they have taught you about YOU. They are a gift in that they are reflecting back to you exactly what you already know needs to change within yourself. And then let them go from a place of love.
Fourth step: Heal yourself from your childhood. Remember the little boy or girl who worked so hard to keep the peace. Visualize him/her and, in your adult state, put your arm around his/her shoulder. Give them a hug and tell them, “Everything is going to be OK. We can handle this.” Thank your child self for the role they played in the past and let him/her know that that role is no longer necessary for survival, that you are an adult now.
There are four steps because the number four represents “foundation,” the “square.” If and when we follow these four steps, we begin to realize and concretize the amazing person that we are! God/Source created us all equally special in varying ways – how could each and every one of us not be amazing?
So, as a sort of unconditional self-love “valentine” follow up to this newsletter, I am including a video entitled, “Healer, Heal Thyself” with tools and tips to clear the past in order to open doors to a profound future.
To further learn about your intuitive skills and self-healing, check out my workshop information below. Sunday, March 18th I will be conducting Part 2 of Meditation Intuition, and Energetic Introspection: A Self-Discovery. Hope to see you there!
Much love always,