I emerged from the bathroom this morning to lazily run a toothbrush over my teeth, and I was greeted by little Isabella (not so little anymore). The front of her hair framing her face was dyed dark blue with little spirals coming down. One might think she had it done professionally or that I had helped her primp in such a way – she is only 10 after all – but no. I glanced at her sweet little face, looking so proud and feeling confident, and asked, “Did your dad curl your hair today?” She lifted her head up, smiled and said, “Yup!” Almost like she was implying “Of course, mom!” It brought happy tears. And, more importantly a blatant awareness of how modern dads are redefining parenting.
The role of men in these young girls’ lives is shifting, almost overnight. To me, there is nothing sweeter, sexier and more relationship-balancing than this beautiful transition. I pondered how docile my own husband is with his “little princess.”
Anecdotes like his coming home from a "special treat" pedicure for Isabella with his own toes painted black with sparkles (and that’s exactly what color they are right now) force me to giggle, well, for a number of reasons. As I commented on how beautiful they looked, he relayed to me how many of the guys on his hockey team had their toes painted too. With proud, yet bashful smiles, they’d look at their rainbow toes and admit, “Yep. My little girl got me.”
Just last night we had an engaging conversation with an employee/friend at a neighborhood market here in Charlotte. He was remarking on how all the dance moms from the dance studio we’d dropped Isabella off at had turned to “dance dads.” He chuckled and said it was a great opportunity for the guys to grab a beer and still play a solid role in their daughters’ and families’ lives. This mentality is taking precedence. The concept of "Fatherhood" and traditional roles of male-female households is evolving.
So, what’s the difference here?
The difference is men weren’t allowed to be docile historically. And my husband wasn’t necessarily like this even when we met - it really is happening overnight. For millennia, their role has been hunter-gatherer, warrior, patriot. They had to prove their societal worthiness through dominance and beating their chest. It was what was modeled by their fathers and their fathers’ fathers all the way down the blood line. Now, I’ve never been a man – I don’t think in any lifetime – so I can’t verify, but I would imagine pushing for such dominance would be exhausting over time. Think Darth Vader. Even he surrendered to love in the end.
I have observed men working in their spiritual practice as well as opening up their connection to their emotional side more than ever. My father, too, began tapping into his spiritual and emotional intelligence, reflecting verbiage and a new way of being from the impressionable and powerful Course in Miracles. Men are beginning to move beyond “taking into consideration” the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual implications of stuffing emotions.
These are our modern dads redefining parenting
“Be a MAN” is more about finding the balance between confidence and focus (Divine masculine) while still reflecting emotional intelligence. It's a work in progress, just as it is for us ladies! I love that men are safer now to be vulnerable, still strong, but balanced in their energy field. And I, for one, am eternally grateful for this.
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