Often we go through life thinking we are one type of personality or another – this comes either through our ego or by way of other people’s observations of our behavior. We are labeled; we label ourselves. We remain stagnant in the idea that we ARE what we are labeled. We become comfortable in this place, this idea.
Then someone pulls the rug – you lose a job, you can’t stand your job and need change, you get in a nasty fight and it ends a friendship, you get a divorce. Whatever it may be, someone or some thing attacks who you ARE, and you shut down. You don’t know who you are anymore.
It is during these moments where we are really tested. So my questions, when this happens (because inevitably it does) are: What do you do with this change in your "label"? How do you handle rejection, defeat, feelings of uselessness? My favorite cover up is to eat chocolate and gorge on anything fried I can get my hands on. That hasn’t worked out too well for me in the past, though. Bummer, right?
So, let’s begin with question number 1: What do you do with this change in your "label?"Many of us think that we need to remain in the same place to feel safe; however, it is through the discomfort in changing our mindset on who we think we are that allows the opportunity for growth. If we don’t grow mentally, spiritually, we become stagnant. Our thinking becomes black and white, right and wrong. In theory, there is nothing "wrong" with thinking in a linear fashion – but, it keeps us from allowing our Selves the freedom we deserve to be who we were born to be. If we allow it in ourselves, we will be more accepting of it in others. This acceptance across the board is exactly what this world needs. And, the toughest pill to swallow is that it starts with us as individuals.
Question 2: How do you handle rejection, defeat, feelings of uselessness?Get back up on the horse that threw you! I remember my friend and wife-of-my-former-boss, Wendy, reminding me to do this. We don’t necessarily need to jump back up on that same horse, but anytime we get a "slap in the face," it’s a wake up call. It’s time for change. We can point the finger and tell everyone else that it’s THAT person! They don’t know what they’re doing! This is NOT about me. Well, in some cases, it’s not. But regardless, rejection, defeat, and uselessness all come back to this: What change we can make within ourselves. We can choose another course of action. And it’s typically this new path that leads us closer to our Original Purpose in the first place.
So, really, who we ARE is a mystery. Chocolate and French fries are a good temporary fix, but the trick to truly understanding our purpose stems from going with the flow as opposed to pushing against it. Acceptance. When things don’t feel right, it’s totally normal. It stinks! But look at it this way: it just means we need to return to our happy place – start journaling, drawing, cooking, whatever brings the most joy. When life feels "right," when we are happy where we are, when we are eager to greet the day, it is because our soul and spirit are doing what they were created to do. And THAT is who we ARE.
Biggest lesson: We are all a necessary, functioning, purposeful piece in this puzzle; we all play such a vital role. If nothing else, remember this. And, if anyone tries to tell you different, recognize it, and continue on your merry way.
Hugs and strength,JessSpiritual Guidanceyourspiritualpathfinder.com