Unlock Your Inner Power: Heal the Past by Befriending Your Shadow

Written by Jess Mangum

Jess Mangum is a seasoned mystic, medium, healer, and mentor. She guides and supports other healers and intuitives in identifying and strengthening their gifts, fulfilling their soul’s purpose, and catapulting their Higher Self in connection with the Divine Source to the next level of awareness. She is a healer’s healer.

May 24, 2024

befriending the shadow
Unlock Your Inner Power: Heal the Past by Befriending Your Shadow

In honor of Mental Health Awareness month, I am going to bring light to the shadow by emphasizing one very powerful way to energetically and interdimensionally clear the darkness. We are going to focus on the ancestral-spiritual connection and the beauty of befriending the shadow. We’ll also address the bigger picture of how we can heal the past into the future through our intentions and inter-dimensional collaboration.

To clarify, and by Jung’s standards and description, the shadow “is a symbol that represents the hidden side of every human psyche. [It] is composed of hidden aspects of an individual’s personality that are deemed as ‘unacceptable,’ and tucked away into the hidden parts of their mind.”

In retrospect and by design, my life’s work has revolved around locating my own shadows, shaking their hands, asking what they need in order to heal, and then providing whatever healing they need to expand the aspects of my soul that required clearing. Often these are the things that scare the crap out of me on the deepest levels.

What I discovered over years of trial and “error” is that there are less widely known and yet powerful and inter-generational ways to heal the physical, mental and emotional trauma stemming from the history of the collective. And it starts with each and every individual. That means YOU!

How the Shadow Presents Itself Ancestrally (a personal, familial observation):

This same healing opp has resurfaced within my family. On a personal level, my mother suffered from severe clinical depression, a mental ailment that plagued her for 30 plus years or so. From the latest and greatest antidepressants, EFT Tapping, Wim Hof breathing and ketamine to shock treatment and TMS. She tried it all. I’ve never seen a fiercer warrior.

Watching her suffer through this, calling me daily not able to spit out more than two words without bursting into tears was heart-wrenching and frustrating. I can help so many people find themselves. Why can I not help my own sweet mother?

On a bigger picture level, I knew why she was enduring this. In essence she, and anyone else suffering from severe depression, is our teacher; they are bringing to our awareness a different perspective – a portal to our understanding of the shadow. Through her pain and perpetual suffering, a desire to leave this plane, I called in our ancestors to show me why this was happening to her.

Since then, her ancestors have been visiting me through the clairsalience of my great-grandmother’s perfume and clairaudience of my mother’s sister, father, great aunt. They all inform me that she is here to clear the emotional-mental baggage from their past, to heal the history of alcohol addiction, abuse, codependency, and even suicide. This topic could be a book (and might be one day).

My mother signed up to take on the woes of her ancestors – so that her descendants wouldn’t have to experience the suffering. What greater gift? (She didn’t think so at the time, but I think she gets it now).

Why do I bring up this timeless topic about befriending the shadow now?

Three main reasons.

1. The power to heal throughout time and space is in our hands.

Take a look at your own family history. Were or are there any addictions, overt or hidden? Is there a history of physical, psychological or emotional abuse ? Any signs of mental illness or suicide? Maybe it is time to clear this. Maybe that is why you are here.

In terms of ancestral healing, any illness, addiction, or negative behavioral pattern stems from trauma from the past within our ancestral bloodline, about 7 generations back. It’s epigenetics, and these traumas can be healed shamanically through the re-writing of the ancestral contracts as well as the clearing of pent up energies within the chakras or energy fields themselves. The repressed energies manifest from situations of betrayal, loss, grief, etc., and are passed on from generation to generation through the chromosomal DNA.

Say, for example, your great, great, great, great grandfather lent all the money he had in his name to his best friend, who ruthlessly took it and fled, leaving a trail of dust and hopelessness behind him. You can imagine the pain your direct ancestor must have endured – maybe even physically feel it in your heart and gut. He may have been so distraught that he turned to the bottle, another women, gambling – seeking “healing” outside himself. That energy shifts his BEing within the DNA structure, and that structure is passed down through the bloodline.

The way we shift the DNA is through our deepest intention, connection and by accessing the history held within the conscious collective itself. Seems perhaps impossible, nonsensical and definitely non-linear, but I have witnessed clients energetically clear lifetimes of intergenerational trauma, which they explore in a semi-hypnotic state.

With the assistance of their ancestor(s), they rewrite the original contract from centuries ago, bringing the stagnant mindsets and unhealthy patterns to a more evolved space of clarity, forgiveness and healing.

The new contract with the aforementioned great, great, great, great grandfather might look something like this:
We forgive those who have betrayed us in the past.
We let go of resentments toward those who have hurt us.
We will not use substances or actions outside of us to temporarily make us feel better.
And so on…

This work, hands down, is my favorite, because it spans across all time and allows for forgiveness and acceptance at all levels and in all dimensions.  It also heals our descendants, your children and grand-children, from suffering. Powerful stuff.

2. There is a more positive way to view illness – particularly mental illness and/or addiction – and the human condition.

It’s more common and accepted to send flowers to someone who has been diagnosed with a physical illness than it is to someone who struggles with a chronic mental illness or addiction. We think of the latter and wonder, “What is wrong with them? Why can’t they pull it together?” Instead, consider that they may be taking on the pain and suffering from generations before them.

Often those who suffer in this lifetime signed an agreement with their ancestors before venturing back down to the earth classroom to take on and clear trauma from the past. Whether they face and overcome it is their choice – and often that’s a hard pill to swallow for the observer, no pun intended.

On a bigger picture level, the human race in and of itself is laden with dysfunction. You may have noticed. This is not a “bad” thing. We must shift our perceptions of “what dysfunction is” from a place of judgment to wisdom and compassion. This is an extraordinary opportunity to heal on a larger, more powerful and eternal scale. And, in doing so, we strengthen our connection not only with our own history but to the infinite love of the Collective Conscious. Don’t look at “what’s wrong,” look at what’s possible and the deeper “WHY.”

We are here to re-establish and upgrade the potentiality of the human race. In the current time-space reality, there is a lot of duality because we are shifting older perspectives with the help of our ancestors. I have heard from my own ancestors and guides that this time is called “The Great Divide.” It is necessary for us to viscerally feel the dissonance so that we know what needs to change and strive to make that change happen.

3. On an earthly level, we can gain wisdom and insight in how to respond to others suffering from depression or addiction. We can learn the beauty of holding space for healing.

How can we help? What do we do when our friend or family member calls crying and not wanting to be here?

We must remember: Their mental illness is not about us, nor is it about seeking attention or manipulating. It is about their needing LOVE, about their addressing the original wound which could be anything from abandonment to betrayal to rejection.  And remember, as they heal, as you hold space for them, you heal and hold space for YOU too.  It is a universal law.

Here are a few suggestions on befriending the shadow:

1. First, respond with energetic love and no expectation of “fixing” them. We all want to help, but some people just can’t receive or are not ready to receive. And that’s OK.

2. Second, keep it simple. Most of what I say to my mother and all she needs to hear is this:I AM HERE. I LOVE YOU. I WILL SUPPORT YOU ANYWAY I CAN[Side note: I think every parent with a teenager and/or toddler needs to memorize these key phrases.]

3. Third, establish healthy boundaries. This requires us to sit down and prioritize our lives first. We all have multiple irons in the fire. I have to do this between husband, kids, work, clients, workshops and other exciting surprises that life throws my way. It is life.I make sure I verbalize these things to my mother by setting up parameters like this: “Mom, I will try to call you every morning to see how you’re doing. If I can’t call for whatever reason, just know I’ve had a busy morning and that I still love you. And then I’ll call when I can.” And then, I call. Daily. It’s integrity.

4. Fourth, if you are looking for resources for yourself, a friend or family member who is struggling with depression, clinical or otherwise, here is the site for the mental health foundation I found while researching. If you’re so inclined, you can donate.

As a gift to you, I am attaching one of my favorite meditations for the heart chakra. It was one of my first professionally recorded meditations when I was opening up the aspects of my own heart I tried to hide from the world. I offer this to you from a place of love, solace, connection and intimate understanding of exactly where you are. I extend this aspect of my love through my throat chakra directly to you.

I hope you take the time to listen.

As always, if you are seeking guidance in expanding your own connectedness to Spirit, your Higher Self, your ancestors, your intuitive gifts and all the spiritual abundance, please schedule a time to chat. There is nothing more healing than remembering who we ARE. I’d love to help you find that.


Metamorphosis or Evolutionary Spiritual and Intuitive Development Mentorships:

Spots for my mentorships moving into 2024 are currently booking up fast.  If you’re looking to more deeply understand your connection with Source, your soul’s song and purpose, and clarify/incorporate your intuitive gifts, these are for you.  There are 4 openings remaining for a 4 or 6-month integration.  If you’re unfamiliar with the mentorships themselves, take a look by clicking on the programs below:

For other healing tools and tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel for resources on energy and the chakras, singing bowl meditations for clarity and calm and so much more! 

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