I haven't spoken or written much since Ebony (Ebby), our dog of 14 years, passed. There has been mostly reflection and grieving. Seems her passing, coinciding with the holidays, was perfect timing. I/we have had the time to feel and to process.

I wanted to share some fascinating observations from my mind and heart, as a medium, in regard to her crossing over. Though I've personally, finally, accepted that "title" (still not a fan of labels), I believe all humans have the capacity to communicate with the Other Side. We need to quiet the mind and listen (easier said than done - I get it). Intuition: It's a muscle most of us are not taught to exercise growing up.

The night Ebony passed, we were sitting on the floor at the emergency vet. I watched her straining for breath, an oxygen mask over her muzzle, as the doctor prepared the meds to put her to sleep. I could sense/feel her lungs burning - like she'd run a marathon just lying there. The doctor gracefully walked us through the process: the breathing stopped; all movement ceased. It's surreal when they finally do "go" because you expect they'll just jump back up and run to catch their ball... but they don't. The emotional pain was excruciating, but not nearly as physically challenging as what she had to endure - pinched trachea due to lymphoma that had spread to her lungs and multiple tumors taking over her innards.

And then, as she let out her last breath, moments after she'd been put down, I heard a voice, a different voice - a "woman." I realized it was Ebony's voice. I realized this because I felt her.

I had experienced this one other time when my adopted cat, Frankie, passed. I could hear her voice, as if she'd been human. And I recall my sister and I toying with and joking about how animals would sound if they could talk, but this was no joke... it was very real and wise. Frankie actually helped me find the kitten we have today - she'd pop in periodically when we were seeking new cats and say "yes" or "no" until Bubba (Goldie) appeared. I kind of dismissed it, thinking it was just the connection she and I had.

But... as I sat there, watching my husband and daughter saying their good-byes, a wave of peace washed over me, and I "heard" Ebony speak. She said, "I'm with you. I'm here." She asked me to tell Mary, my oldest daughter, specifically, that she loved her, that she was grateful for the love Mary had given her. It's always challenging for me to deliver these messages because they are so often the same - "I'm fine, and I love you." But those are the words we most often need to hear in times of grief.

Since that late, late night, she has been sharing things with me - things that only a pet would observe. The conversations have slowed down since we buried her in our back yard, but here are some of the things I noted, with the cold, hard lessons for me (but for all of us, really):

- "Be more patient, with yourself and with the world."

(This is because I was always in a hurry for the dogs to poop and pee in the morning so I could get my coffee. Eek.)

- "Enjoy what's right in front of you."

(... because I gave Ebby a hard time when she was eating voraciously and often forget to consider, being present, and the joy around me - and that her favorite thing was her "chow." Let her enjoy!)

- "Give more - more to the ones who love you, who reciprocate. And use your energy wisely."

(... because Ebby observed my spending time with some who did not necessarily offer the most balanced energy back to me early on in her puppy-hood - I'd give and give, depleting my resources. Observe who gives back, who energizes me, and spend more time with them.)

- "Embrace compassion. Don't assume if people are hurting - or angry, or frustrated, etc. - that they only 'seek attention'."

(In other words, people act out because they need something. Find what that thing is - most often a "tail wag" or a lick in Ebby's mind, a simple sign of love, can heal.)

- "Let her eat bacon grease!"

(I've been known to be stingy about food, particularly with the animals. Ebby explained that the joy of having that piece of bacon or grain of rice that fell on the floor is like doggy heaven. Let her - our other dog, Cupcake - relish it!)

- And the last was more of a vision/explanation. Fascinating.

We have an adopted beagle, Cupcake. When we adopted her from the Greater Charlotte SPCA three years ago, she could barely lift her head from the ground and she would crawl to us, almost shamefully, when we called her. Since then, she now hops when she's happy and sings opera like any talented beagle.

But I always wondered what happened to her. Ebby shared with me one morning as I was impatiently (still working on that - maybe why I wound up with a beagle) getting her to go poop. I saw an image of Cupcake as a pup. She was in a dark, musty barn, trying to hide in a bail of hay. She cowered as lights flashed under the barn doors, and I could hear - and almost smell - a man pacing in front of the door, yelling. He was dirty and sweaty, gripping a huge bow rake. She was abandoned - no mom, no siblings, no love - just the horrific sound of this frustrated man and the stark isolation of an empty barn. She ran away from that place, lived in multiple homes, would run away again sniffing out "love" but never succeeding.

The vision explained why whenever I pull out a broom, she darts away. Why, when Chad used to try to pick her up, she'd yelp or cower away from him. Why, when we first got her, we'd let her out, and she'd just run off (and still does if we don't keep an eye out). We had to train her to "come," to "sit," to "stay."

I used to get annoyed by Cupcake's constant whining for attention. I understood she was hurting, but did not fully grasp the depth of her pain until I saw her as a puppy. And Ebby showed me. I understood that these two, Ebony and Cupcake, had somehow communicated this information. Brilliant. Beautiful.

Ebby understood her deeply, and so now I aspire to do the same for all animals, people, plants.

It's my New Year's Resolution - maybe my New "Life's" Resolution. Her messages have changed my outlook completely.

Needless to say, I share these insights with you as a request from Ebony. She sees the beauty in us humans; she sees the love that is possible. She has gifted me with what that feels, sounds, looks like. I hope her gift gives you a new perspective on life and what's most important.

Sending heartfelt, virtual hugs. Yes, "virtual hugs" presents like an oxymoron, but if you close your eyes and take a deep breath, you'll feel it in your heart.

Love,
Ebby and Jess

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